Shakespeare for Dummies
by fbeauchamphartz
Summary: Kurt and Sebastian get paired together to perform a Shakespeare scene, which ends up being from Romeo and Juliet. Inspired by the anon prompt 'Kurt asks Seb to run lines with him and maybe they kiss' ;) Dalton AU, angst, romance(ish). Warning for language, mention of Klaine/Blaine. Kurt H. Sebastian S.


"But soft!" Sebastian recites with as much emotion as he can infuse into those words without retching. He glances at his book as little as possible, trying his hardest to get his lines memorized. "What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun."

Sebastian looks over at his Juliet, sitting on top of a table with his legs crossed, thumbing through an issue of _Vogue_. Sebastian frowns, tempted to throw his book at Juliet's head.

"Can you at least _pretend_ to pay attention?" Sebastian groans. "You're going to miss your entrance."

"I doubt it," Kurt says, not looking up from his magazine. "I don't have a word for another twenty-four lines, and then all I say is 'Ay, me!'" Kurt lifts one hand to his forehead to look appropriately lost in dreamy recollect. "And then you ramble on again for another eight lines."

Kurt returns to his magazine, dramatically flipping to the next page.

"You should be fucking grateful, princess," Sebastian hisses. "I picked the scene where Romeo gets the most lines so you don't have to do a single thing but sit on your ass and try to look pretty."

Kurt scowls, slamming his magazine down on the desk.

"No," Kurt objects, "you picked the scene where you get the most lines because you're an attention whore! You didn't even ask me what scene I wanted to perform."

"I chose the tower scene because it's iconic," Sebastian says through clenched teeth.

"Newsflash, dingbat, it's _Romeo &amp; Juliet_. _All_ the scenes are iconic!"

Sebastian glares at the superior smirk on Kurt's face. He strangles his poor paperback in both hands, imagining that it's Kurt's neck.

"This assignment is asinine," Kurt continues, blatantly dismissive of Sebastian's tantrum. "Blaine and Jeff got _King Lear_. Wes and Nick got _Macbeth_. Why did we get _Romeo &amp; Juliet_?"

"Oh my God!" Sebastian exclaims, throwing his head back. "Can you stop babbling so we can get back to learning these lines? I want to get out of here and hang out with people I actually _like_!"

"Who assigns _Romeo &amp; Juliet_ at an all-boy's school and then asks them to perform a scene?" Kurt makes it a point to ignore Sebastian's outburst. "That's just begging for therapy…and lawsuits…"

"In Shakespeare's time, all the women's parts were played by men. I thought you would be up for the challenge," Sebastian teases.

"Yeah, if I was playing Viola or Ophelia or Lady Macbeth…or even Katharina. But _Romeo &amp; Juliet_? It's ridiculously overdone."

"I didn't pick this stupid ass play," Sebastian resumes, "and I definitely didn't choose _you_ as a partner."

"And why do I have to be Juliet?" Kurt asks. "Why don't I get to be Romeo?"

"_You_ get to be Juliet because, unlike me, your voice hasn't changed yet."

Kurt's face curdles into an unattractive grimace.

"Fuck you!"

"Sorry, princess…" Sebastian relinquishes his death grip on the crumpled book, "but I didn't pick that scene."

Kurt kicks his legs and hops off the table, reaching for their assignment sheet.

"Well, if you get to decide who plays who, I get to pick the scene," Kurt demands. "This assignment is worth a third of our semester grade, and I'm not trusting _you_ to get me an A."

"I chose that scene because it's _romantic_," Sebastian says, growling out the word _romantic_ like he just tasted something sour. "I thought we would get more points for pushing some boundaries."

Kurt skims the list of scenes they were given to choose from, his eyes settling on one in particular. He smiles.

"If you want to push some boundaries, we should go with this one." Kurt jabs at the paper with his finger. Sebastian looks at the typed line he's pointing at and smirks.

"You want to perform _that_ scene?" Sebastian asks. "With me?"

"Why not?" Kurt crosses his arms across his chest, the growing darkness in his eyes an obvious dare. "Afraid you're not up to it, Smythe?"

"No," Sebastian says. "Not at all, Hummel. But what about you? I _am_ a pretty good actor, after all. I don't need you confusing make-believe for reality and falling all over me. I mean, what about your little boyfriend, Blaine?"

"There're two reasons why that would never happen," Kurt says, picking up his book and flipping the pages.

"And those are?" Sebastian asks. "Because you know I'm just _waiting_ to hear them."

"I'm a professional. I take my craft seriously."

"And number two?" Sebastian mocks.

Kurt's eyes lift slowly from his book and lock onto Sebastian's.

"I loathe you."

"Fun," Sebastian says, sliding uncomfortably close to his reluctant partner. "Then let's do this. Where do you want me?"

Kurt pulls up two chairs and positions them facing one another, about a foot apart. He sits in one and looks up at Sebastian, gesturing to the other. Sebastian chuckles once. He grabs the chair and moves it closer, almost side-by-side to Kurt's chair. He spins the chair around and straddles it, leaning forward till he and Kurt are nearly nose to nose.

"Alright," Kurt says, briefly darting his eyes to the ceiling. "I'll humor you."

"Okay." Sebastian nods. "I'll start."

Before Sebastian can speak, Kurt clears his throat. He takes a deep breath in and lets it out slowly, blowing loudly through pursed lips. Then he sits up straight and swallows.

"Today, Hummel," Sebastian moans.

Kurt shoots him a murderous glare.

"What?" Kurt asks. "I'm warming up my instrument. I'm not stopping you from talking."

Sebastian sighs, trying to find a head space he can get lost in where Romeo doesn't want to kill Juliet. He tries to look into Kurt's eyes, but Kurt stares passed him out the window, completely uninterested in anything but getting this scene over with.

"If I profane with my unworthiest hand  
This holy shrine, the gentle fine is this:  
My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand  
To smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss."

As Sebastian speaks, the entire atmosphere of the room changes, and Kurt's demeanor with it. The air around him becomes heavy and thick, and Kurt feels like he's suddenly doing something he shouldn't – something taboo. It took only nine words to make him feel that way. His eyes drift away from the window, and even though he's trying to stay in character, his blue eyes stare at Sebastian with an uncomfortable shock, as if he has just stumbled upon a mongrel dog in an alley, who opens his mouth and sings like Pavarotti. Sebastian's eyes flick down to Kurt's lips not once, but twice, and he lingers, leaning an inch closer when he says the word _kiss_.

Kurt almost forgets that it's his turn to speak.

Sebastian's smile turns up at the corner of his mouth when he notices.

"Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much,  
Which mannerly devotion shows in this;  
For saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch,  
And palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss."

Kurt speaking as Juliet is not what Sebastian imagined. Uptight, stuck up, high maintenance, overall highly irritating – Kurt is suddenly none of these. Sebastian thought Kurt playing Juliet would be insult unto injury, especially with his naturally high countertenor voice. He had every intention of ribbing Kurt to no end until they went back to the scene he originally picked – where he got all the lines and Kurt sat silently and did nothing.

But Kurt was practically born to play Shakespeare's precocious heroine, and for a moment, Sebastian can see a bit of what Blaine must adore about him.

Kurt takes Sebastian's hand mid-speech – it's not a written stage direction in their version of the text, but it is often performed that way, with Juliet pressing their palms together.

The warmth of Kurt's palm pressing against his has an uninvited allure to it. It's something he doesn't want, but it's definitely something he can get used to.

He didn't have a clue that his plan would backfire this spectacularly.

"Have not saints lips," Sebastian whispers, his eyes glued to their joined hands, "and holy palmers too?"

"Ay, pilgrim," Kurt says, and Sebastian notices with a shift of his eyes that Kurt's gaze is focused on their hands as well, "lips that they must use in prayer."

"O, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do…" Sebastian puts the book down (vaguely realizing that he hasn't looked at it once so far. When the fuck had he learned these lines anyway?). He takes Kurt's other hand (which has somehow lost hold of his book as well), pressing his hand against it, palm to palm. He doesn't need to look up to know that Kurt swallowed hard at the touch. He can hear it. He doesn't need to see the rise and fall of Kurt's chest to know that his breath is coming faster. He can feel it over his fingertips, which have somehow gotten closer to Kurt's mouth. "They pray, grant thou, lest faith turn to despair."

"Saints do not move, though grant for prayers' sake."

The words tumble out from Kurt's lips, and Sebastian can't tell if it's because he's trying to hold them back or if it's because he's eager to say them. They're breathless and soft, and completely in this moment of awe as a girl is about to be kissed for the first time.

_The kiss_.

It didn't seem like such a big deal when they were posturing and provoking each other, calling each other out for being cowards, but now, for whatever reason, this kiss seems almost sacred.

Which sucks because Sebastian really wants to kiss Kurt.

Fuck you, Shakespeare!

Kurt stares at him, and Sebastian can't tell if the rush of blood to his cheeks is a symptom of excitement or fear, but he doesn't feel like playing Kurt anymore.

Not today.

"Uh, you know," Sebastian says, pulling back, moving away, "we're only required to act out twelve lines, so, I think that's good, don't you?"

Kurt's eyes follow Sebastian's lips, watch their retreat, frown at the way his tone changes in a blink from silky and seductive to snarky…though maybe not as snarky as usual.

"Yeah, well, if you can't handle kissing me," Kurt jokes, straightening his back and widening the distance between them.

"Ha! Don't flatter yourself," Sebastian says, standing up quickly and sliding the chair back in place. "I just don't need this turning into a full-on make-out session. I have things to do."

"So you keep saying," Kurt comments, standing from his chair and returning it to its spot beside Sebastian's.

"Don't even go there, princess. You couldn't handle kissing me."

Kurt shrugs with a _hmph_.

"I guess you'll never know now, will you."

Sebastian watches Kurt head for the door, wondering if that sound of regret in Kurt's voice was intentional or accidental.

He rushes up behind him, catching him before his hand touches the doorknob. He turns Kurt in his arms and holds him, their bodies flushed together, igniting an almost instant heat that they can feel through their layers of clothes. Kurt isn't rigid in Sebastian's arms. He lets himself go limp, forcing Sebastian to support him, but his eyes lock on Sebastian's and don't let go.

"Then move not," Sebastian whispers in that same velvety voice as before, speaking those words softly over Kurt's lips, "while my prayer's effect I take. Thus from my lips, by yours, my sin is purged."

Sebastian moves forward, taking a moment to memorize the look of want in Kurt's eyes, because it's undeniable. Kurt wants him. He wants Sebastian to kiss him. He's not acting. He's not pretending. That want is real, and it will belong to Sebastian when he takes it from him.

The loud, mind-splitting knock right next to Sebastian's ear steals that look in Kurt's eyes clean away.

"Kurt!" Blaine's voice echoes the knock with the same obnoxious side-effect. "Sebastian! Time's up."

Sebastian rolls his eyes and lets go of Kurt. Kurt, still caught up in the fading mist of the promised kiss, almost falls straight to the floor. He stumbles back, throwing a disgruntled glare at a withdrawing Sebastian, who is already across the room, collecting his book and his bag. Kurt opens the door and sees Blaine's smiling face beaming at him.

Kurt's reciprocated smile is forced.

"So," Blaine says, looking past Kurt to catch a glimpse of Sebastian, "you guys took a while. Our group was done over ten minutes ago."

"Yeah, well, we're doing _Romeo &amp; Juliet_ in here," Sebastian says. "Not pussy _King Lear_."

"Too bad I didn't get assigned _Romeo &amp; Juliet_ with you," Blaine says secretively. "I think it could have been hot to be Juliet to your Romeo."

Kurt smiles.

Of course, Blaine would have relinquished the role of Romeo to Kurt.

That is the gentlemanly thing to do.

But Kurt doesn't quite mind being Juliet.

"Are you ready to go?" Blaine asks, clapping his hands.

"Sure," Kurt agrees. "Let me just get my bo—…"

Kurt stops short when Sebastian thrusts his copy of _Romeo &amp; Juliet_ and his issue of _Vogue_ into his hands.

"Eager to get rid of me, Smythe?" Kurt taunts, but not with his usual dose of venom.

"Don't you know it," Sebastian answers dryly.

Blaine starts backing out of the threshold with Kurt following behind him, holding his book and his magazine to his chest. It takes only a second for Kurt to recover from…whatever that was with Sebastian, and fall into an easy conversation with Blaine about a Katy Perry number he is thinking of pitching to the Warblers. Kurt throws his head back and laughs at some corny dance move Blaine performs mid-stride, and just like that, the two of them are happily lost in their own world.

Sebastian sighs.

"Sin from thy lips?" Sebastian mutters to Kurt's back as he walks further down the hallway. "O trespass sweetly urged! Give me my sin again."


End file.
